Fear tells you to “run!” when something really scary comes along. Your legs jolt into action before you know what’s happened.
Our reactions to fearful stimuli can feel so out of control. But with intention and focus, we can choose to look fear in the eye and say “I am bigger than you!”
That’s the message of my latest story for children. It’s all about a little boy who wants to meet the “scariest creatures in the world”, like a bear, or a tiger, and asks his mum where they are to be found.
“Hmm” said his mum, “let me see now!” And she packed him a rucksack with a drink, a couple of oranges and a pair of scissors (“because scissors always come in handy”) and told him to go to the bottom of the garden and wait. Just wait. And if he’s quiet enough, “maybe then you’ll get to see a bear!”
Being on the run from fear means that it’s more likely that when scary things actually happen, we’ll run from those too. Being curious about fear opens the door to a larger potential. What if we are strong enough to cope with everything that comes our way, even those things that induce enormous fear in us?
“RAAAHHHH!!” said the bear. “I’m going to EAT YOU!!”
“Oh!” said the boy, “well, if you are going to eat me, you’re going to need a salad!”
“A what??” said the bear, baffled.
“A salad!” said the boy. “Mum says that if you are going to eat a big meal, you should always have a salad on the side, because that makes it healthier!” And off he went into the forest, clipping all the youngest, tenderest leaves with his scissors, to make a “salad” for the bear.
The world responds to how we react to it. Reacted to with fear, most people get more scary – more on-edge perhaps, or more aggressive (dogs definitely do this!). What the boy’s adventures demonstrate is that nothing transforms the encounters we have with others more powerfully than love.
“But I don’t want to eat you!” wailed the bear, when the boy had laid out his spread – a drink, two oranges and a bowl of salad. So instead they decided to share the meal and chatted like old friends until the sun went down. The bear told the boy all kinds of stories about what it’s like to be a bear. And the boy told the bear all kinds of stories about what it’s like to be a boy.
It might sound fanciful, but I’ve had personal experience that bears out the truth here. When met with love, even the scariest individuals can soften. They can even turn from adversary to ally because, as the story says at the end, “everybody likes a bit of kindness.”
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